Matybigfro

My missues is now blogging

2010-04-13T10:59:00.005Z

The wife has a new blog http://freeinourloveblog.blogspot.com/
how exciting, I hope she will hold at this better than me, as she is a much better writer than I am.
On a side not how long has it been since my last post - too long
Emily is now the drummer in my band Diego, we both very rarely go to church and are trying to work out where fit with the whole religion question.

Anyway Emily's blog is really about her journey of belief or disbelief, kinda like a anti testimony. How does this relate to me, allot I guess - although we're increasingly different in my opinion. For me doubt has always been an integral part of my faith/relationship with God/Christianity but up until recently my belief was my action, my convictions my behaviours, careers and life orientation in general. For Emily and allot of others I've meet, belief was/is propositional knowledge, God is real, homosexuality is wrong, Noah had a ark and Adam and eve were primitive naturists. That Kinda stuff you didn't question, doubt it reconfigure it, it was a given - fact. So it's weird in many way's we're both not really Christians anymore, whats funny about this it means something completely different to both of us. Emily isn't a different person to who she was when I meet her, her opinions, instincts, judgements values and behaviour are much the same but she can't hold a fundamental belief in God as true with conviction any more, She can't try and argue that the bible is literal and factual, that heaven and hell exist, that God is real. For me on the whole my Beliefs are the same I kinda believe in the same God I have for many years, I have more words to describe what I believe better but it's not changed much - maybe got a bit more robust - I still doubt lots but that's nothing new, I'm still very cynical but again no change there - I also accept God, trust in God and live with a daily dependance and expectancy of God as the ground of my being as much as ever. Whats changed for me is I do feel like I act different, I don't go to church, pray as much, don't sing worship songs, I no longer work for others and now work a job because I want the money and things it affords me, i no longer work for a better world, i don't tithe or give to charity and don't consider myself generous or sacrificial. Because of this I no longer consider myself a christian I don't see myself living out of the Love of God I believe in and don't see myself living the expectations I have of someone following Jesus.

Strange us humans eh!

Greenbelt Spontaneous Worship Poetry

2009-09-04T09:48:00.002Z

what i can't live without

2009-06-26T12:53:00.000Z

really enjoyed reading dave fitch on our biggest fears about planting missional communities.
'Instead I plead with the community planters/leaders/participants to see community seeding as a way of life. We are simply moving into an “under-churched” place, in close proximity to one another, living simply and missionally, tending to the surrounding community relationally out of the vision of the Gospel'

And it lead me to think that one of the most important things to think about in this process are what are the things I cant live without. It strikes me this was possibly a natural part of the old school oversea's missionary process you left everything and could only take the essentials
this skin shedding was part and parcell of the gospel taking process but often not so easy to do in our post christian context because the homeland is to hand the instantly available for us.
But in the context of the church plant/seeding of the missional community it is a very helpfull way to plan our strategy.

For me when I think what can I not live without i think of Food (partucularly sharing food with others), celebration, space and quiet (particulaly to give space for God) and personanlly making music(although I've found i can pretty happily live without worship music, sunday morning meetings and bible studies)

Garlic Bread (it's the future)

2009-02-12T12:55:00.001Z

Great article about the first few hurdles for spotify.com since it's launch. I media whore freind of mine for london tipped me off about this a few months ago and I ignored him (mainly i just didn't read the link), then jonny baker posted it on his blog and i actually read what it was and jumped right in (does this mean i'm a baker groupie). So yea it's great, probably better than last.fm that I'd just started getting into (part of why ignored it at first) but the great thing is you can keep you last stats going by linking the account (its all about the synergy baby). It makes me really want to get a Ipod touch to run it on wirelessy (which I think could really take off if we start to get some decent wireless coverage nation wide, especially if its free, man itunes would totally go bust). Obviously this is just waiting for some form of of specificat hardware wireless device (which also would be awesome).

Unsuprisingly it seems the people holding up the change are the record labels and entertainment buisiness, it's not gonna be instant but everyone new the napstar spelled death for the way the music industry worked, but what no one worked out is that people want free music (or very good value) and don't mind if it's legal or illegal, but provide them with a better alternative to breaking the law and they will. it's kinda sad this has come from outside the industry but not surprissing, really these guy's should have been on the inside doing this, but much like the church big organisations tend to operate in maintenance mode not change and evolve mode. For some reason we'd rather keep something that doesn't work going than change to something new that does work or might work better (much like the UK/global ecconomy maybe more ranting on that later).

With this whole reshaping of society (thats really what i think it is, and it probably will hit economics soon too) things are gonna change, spotify is actually giving labels a life line really, ubnlike radio as a music medium who i think it really could spell death for or at least like labels spell death fir the status quo. I wonder with the evolution and growth of spotify if we'll see spotify
icon's, personality's and leaders, folks who hot tip new artist to be found on spotify or creators of great playlists and party mix's. The possiblility rock i think, its seems exciting to watch these really cool things unfolding onour desk's and literally changing the world we swim in.

Great one 'fitchie baby'

2009-02-10T22:41:00.001Z

The fantastic David Fitch has posted a couple of great stories from Francis Chan, truly inspiring stuff and very challenging. Like Dave i don't much about Chan other than seeing him credit on a couple of 'Passion' teaching mp3's but utterly love the challenge held within those stories.

It reminded me of hearing how people would take widow's and orphans to the NT church to almost drop them off knowing that these we're people who cared for those in their midst that needed care. It was well known (how ever i doubt advertised) that people in the church did not go without. Would it not be wonderful for church to be known as place where you did not need insurance or a pension.

One of Emily's old friends married a americanner, and are part of 'life on the vine' the church Mr Fitch planted in Chicago. 'Fitchie baby' is how they referred to him once when they found out I had read his blog a bit when they were staying with us in Thornaby while touring the uk as Rue Royal e. The post is affectionately named in honour and memory of the night they played at the 'waiting room' in Yarm and the great short time we had with them when they stayed in our spare room of 6 months. Much love to the Dekkers you should check them out at their a fore linked myspace.

mission and serving God

2009-01-25T16:49:00.003Z

Something that totally buzzes me about all the missional talk is the idea of the 'missio dei'. The idea that in engaging we are just joining in with God, getting out hands dirty and stuck in the stuff God is doing. The comment of Jesus that he is simply doing what he see's his father doing is so remarkable - and with it an obedience to simply do what he knows his father is asking..

Spend anytime in the christian uber world and you find many people sure of their service of God. Doing all sorts of things to service of God. Some are just off their head and mental/stoopid/silly some are well meaning but you suspect have somewhat got it wrong. Like the worship leader with a voice like a strangled cat. Often its surprising how God seems to seek a form of service which entails respect, attention, people doing what you say or thinking your the dog's bollocks.

I've been their in many forms, one of the things i've always enjoyed about my life is sense that it's been obvious or unavoidable to fall into things that seem to be what God intends for my life. At times that's meant being a youth worker, guitarist, worship leader, community worker, project manager and volunteer at different times, some of those things made me look good, sound good or gave me importance. I love listening to, hearing about or catching up with people who are just obviously serving God in authentic way's, joining in Gods great adventure in individual little way's - has gotta be a hero of mine in that regard and i'm really excited for him and his family as they take things in a new direction this year.

Right now I know I'm serving God by earning money, supporting my wife as she trains to be a teacher and living with and being with my mother as she under goes chemotherapy. At first I found the transition from doing a full time paid ministry stuff to working in an office hard, i felt my life lack meaning, directions, an out let for the love of God and service to God. Often these positions, labels and authorities can become enmeshed with our identity and become part of how we perceive ourselves and how feel gratified, satisfied, justified and of worth. Having come to terms and worked though allot of that I'm almost sure that what God has for me to do is care for my mom, love my wife, support them financially and emotional and i think make a little music along the way to stop me going insane. I'm fairly convinced this is missional, cos well I know its what God is doing too. I'm sure there are way's he has for me to join what he's doing in my work place and in my band, but I also don't feel a pressure to christianly perform there though I'm trying to be open to seeing what God is doing and learning more from him in that environment. I'm still excited about what the future may hold and dream's and desires that jumble around in my heart to with music, culture, travel, serving people and communities and seeing the kingdom of God grow but I'm also at peace though that at the moment that i'm not only doing what's right but serving and joining God in doing it.

Obama the political messiah for the religious left in the same way that Bush was for the right

2009-01-21T19:37:00.001Z

There's no doubt the significance of an african american reaching the highest political office in america and its no surprise the emotional responce that it is exciting from many including myself but i can't help but hear something so similar to the way bush was talked about by american christian conservatives when he arived in the tone of many emergents escpecially.

New look, new laylout, new approach

2009-01-18T15:21:00.003Z

So i'm in the process of trying to sort all the bug's out of this new layout cos I've got nothing better to do at work at the moment.
The reason I chose this layout (or did it choose me) is to try and create a bit of a useful web portal space for me somewhere to collect allot of my online goings on

with some space for the odd writing like this cos lets be honest I'm not expecting to all of a sudden become a prolific blogger but i do comment like a biatch and I'm gonna give the whole twittering lark a go as well so here's to a new year and a new look blog

Or am I just trying to be like Jonny baker

Untitled

2008-01-30T10:07:00.001Z

just a little update on life for any of you that care
found out a few months ago that we a were gonna be kick out of our home in april
planned to move for emily to start uni in september
realised finding somewhere to rent for 4 mon ths would be a night mare
found somewhere to move this monmth th landlady is a vicars wife we know so that is nice we don't have to find a bond or nething which is usefull
not sure we can afford to pay rent on my current sallary
plus my contract is due to terminate allongside the accomadation
so am also looking for a job at the moment to pay the bills
not sure how the youth work stuff will fit in around all that at the moment
prayers appreciated

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tell a prophet they are full of crap week

2008-01-28T21:36:00.001Z

"The next time someone prophesies massive revival in your church tell them they are full of crap. Ok… maybe that’s a bit strong… Maybe just politely inquire when the revival will be, what will happen, how you will know it has happened and then bet them a carton of crownies it won’t happen. (Easy way to get free beer…)" from Hamo the backyard missionary
Made me almost fall off my seat laughing

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Bright and Shinny things

2008-01-21T15:55:00.001Z

"D is also for dwell. And deeply. Dwell deeply. The missional
conversation invites us to this deep dwelling in a Biblical imagination
and in the lives of ordinary people. The missional conversation is
aware that modernity has made us magpies. Magpies are a type of bird
that likes to collect bright and shiny things, which it places in its
nest, only to go looking for yet more bright and shiny things. Dwelling
deeply is an awareness of our instinctive search for bright and shiny
things; new program, new leader, new technologies." this it the entry for D Steve (e-mergent kiwi) Taylors a-z of the emerging church found here

It just made me think of how in the evangelical church or church circles we so often love to grab hold of the latest new trend/genre/culture/style and pop it in out nest (DJ led worship, accoustic rock or now indieish worship music (circa hillsong united/soul survivor almost becoming synominous, video loops, vjing, powerpoint, breakdancers, sofas or candles ( i remember being told that being postmodern was about having sofa's in a semi circle around the stage, having candles and people painting while the worship band plays) And sometimes we think that building a nice shinny nest will attrack more birds in although i think in the UK here we're more desperatly trying to get some birds to stay in. I would say on the whole it is rarely a genuine attempt to be missional and the few times it is sometimes its part of a missional game of dress up and saddly often not go any deeper. which then means that our nest just look tacky, ugly like most collage and just not as good as the real thing.

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ouch everythings a little brittle around the emerging church at the mo

2008-01-16T15:32:00.001Z

http://bobhyatt.typepad.com/bobblog/2008/01/so-call-me-a--1.html

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worship without relationship is like.........

2007-11-06T17:07:00.001Z

hollow

i dunno
So i'm like entering a season of trying to re-enter what it means to lead music and people into worship la lal la la
I've realised i'm not really great when i'm not involved in music and worship stuff
but i've started to dip my toes and in and its cool that but still a bit bitter sweet

it's like i remember what it was like leading worship in community in a group of people where there was intimacy and relationship

and so doing it where it's not

is just kinda a bit hollow

its not that it's not good just still a bit hollow

especially when you get compliments
i'm not good with compliments especially about worship stuff
its like i'm just doing what i feel comes naturally isn't that what everyone is doing
blah
it just feels weird like how often do you compliment you freinds on like conversation when your hanging out and stuff

anyway

i'm weird more to come

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scary ass stats

2007-11-03T15:42:00.001Z

was pointed to this churchless christian post by Jesus Creed (scot mcknight's blog) where i found these

totally bad ass and quiet scary stats

"1. UN studies show that $70-80b US per year would be enough to provide essential health care & education for all the poor in the world. If western Christians gave just 5% of their income towards this, it would solve this problem totally.

2. Of all giving to Christian churches, only 5% is spent on overseas missions. ie the church is spending 20x more on it’s own spiritual needs than on the enormous needs overseas. To quote the late Brian Hathaway “this is an outright crime”

3. US Christians control TRILLIONS in assets while at any given time 200,000,000 Christians starve." (NZ Christians control billions in assets too)

4. Annual church embezzlements by top custodians exceed the entire cost of all foreign missions worldwide. Emboldened by lax procedures, trusted church treasurers are embezzling from the Church $5,500,000 PER DAY. That’s $16,000,000,000 per YEAR! That’s Billion - with a “B”!

5. Criminal penalties against clergy in sexual abuse cases now exceed $1 billion, causing a number of churches, dioceses, and even denominations to be forced into bankruptcy.

6. Each year 600,000 full-time ordained workers (clergy,ministers,missionaries) reach retiring age; 150,000 then discover that their employers provide no old-age pensions.

7. 40% of the church’s entire global foreign mission resources are being deployed to just 10 oversaturated countries already possessing strong citizen-run home ministries.

8. All costs of ministry divided by number of baptisms per year. Cost per baptism in India - $9803 per person. Cost per baptism in the United States - $1,550,000 per person.

9. Christians spend more on the annual audits of their churches and agencies ($810 million) than on all their workers in the non-Christian world.

10. Non-Christian countries have been found to have 227 million Bibles in place in their midst, more than needed to serve all Christians, but poorly distributed.

11. 91% of all Christian outreach/evangelism does not target non-Christians but targets other Christians in the world.

Thanks to www.edgenet.org.nz and http://www.fellowshipofthemartyrs.com/scary_stats.htm"

the table

2007-10-29T22:55:00.001Z

loved this
"Ministry cannot be about maintenance, but it is about gathering, about embrace, about welcoming home all sorts of and conditions of people; home is a place for mother tongue, of basic soul food, of old stories told and treasured, of being at ease, known by name, belonging without qualifying for membership.

Walter Brueggemann "
off mark berry's site way out west good stuff

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Identiy and calling part 2

2007-10-29T21:53:00.001Z

i thought this would like clear up in my head through out the week into more succinct thoughts]
but it ain't so I'm just gonna like splurge a couple of post over the next few days and see where it leads

Me and Emily have been talking loads about direction and future stuff we just don't know what to do what right
I'm trying to work out whether I'm meant to stick at what I'm doing now or if I'm just too proud to finish or if God does really want me to see this project out.

its crazy i mean like if feels like the major crisis of our life so far

{BTW totally cool and thanks God that the car crisis was solved by my wonderful mother who has extended loaded us the money for a new car, we now have a nice shiny (new to us) MKIII Gold, my mom is a star, which reminds me i totally have to ring her and say thanks again, just to say we were pretty drop poor growing up my mom was on her own and was on benefit's, we didn't have a lot, but we were a happy family, so anyway her situation hasn't really changed much since i left home she started fostering when i was 7 then it was like a voluntary thing its a bit more professional now so she has a bit more money but not much stability, she amazes me how much she has always trusted in god never given up despite the worst example, she's worth a million dumb pastors}

SO that's where the whole identity calling thing hots hard, i mean i had some dealings with that animal before, the stuff i got from God was about being called out of my comfort zones and being asked not to live, work within my skills and gifting but outside of them, but its difficult.

I just feel like whole parts of me are dormant of dying, I'm struggling to balance life but it's not about having too much its just laziness/lack of motivation]

and i find myself getting jealous of people i see doing things that i want to do but won't let myself sometimes

arghh this probably doesn't make sense

more to come

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Why pomo enjoys leading music

2007-10-24T18:19:00.001Z

Adam, Pomomusings scribe totally sums up how i feel about leading music (a phrase I think i'm purposely trying to pickup now) good stuff

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crapness

2007-10-23T10:31:00.001Z

Last night i caught some kids trying to steal emilys car
its kinda crazy
luckily we were outside the front of our house when it happened saying goodbye to some freinds of ours
heard a noise
i was gonna leave but emily gave me the "don't you want to go see what that was look"
walked round the side of our house and the light was on in our car
took me about half a minute to twig someone was inside it
yelled at them tried to grab one (to behonest i don't what i would have done had i caught him, if he's got hurt i'd be in more trouble than him)
ran after them
little buggers had smashed the back window and were trying to hot wire it
instead they've just broke the wirring so now it won't start
Oh the joy's

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New years resolution

2007-10-22T12:19:00.000Z

Almost 10 months late I’ve deciding on a new years resolution.
I've decide to try post at least once a week, and keep this blog active as well as keeping an eye on the comments and things

I've been really suckey at blogging over the last few years the first two years I averaged about a post a month
I think I got into blogging to be like all other emerging church cool kids
Especially when I started this blog I had like a blog reading addiction,
Anyway I don't think I’m ever gonna be as good at it a my blog hero (the Tallskinnykiwi) but I do think it would be a good spiritual discipline to try and write things about how life is regularly
I’m not good at discipline so starting with an easy pain free one like this seems to be a good start for me

Graham Coxon f**king love it

2007-10-21T21:09:00.001Z

I just totally love music
always been a sucker for a electric guitar
don't mind an acoustic as long as its not played by a christian

never been one for listening to lyrics
it's like i don't even here them when I'm listening to music i just here melody, rhythm, harmony, texture and dynamics

so i think that affects what i like

anyway i was never the biggest blur fan in the first place there music was good i just never got into it that much other than the obligatory song 2 which every skater/mosher kid my age loved head banging to (for good reason) and any not even half decent(in my case) guitarist played (and i must say played totally wrong many still play it totally wrong)
although i really liked beetlebum it always sounded like slow heavy sex to me (not that when I heard it i had anything to reference it to)

Anyway everything I've heard from graham coxon since he's left blur I've loved
to me this is one of the best tracks absolutely mint probably followed closely by this

for those who care i think that he might be using a fuzz pedal on his guitar in that one
i used to own a fuzz pedal called a rat sold it a few months ago I'd had it for like 5 years or soming
i also bought a fuzz pedal called a "Big Muff Pi" once two I hid it from my Mom
apparently the guitarists from Korn and the chemical brother s used it
i didn't like it so traded it for the rat

Back to the Coxon to me his music just rises above most of the bollocks under the indie umbrella these days (I Think its his love of american alternative rock from the 90;s) just love the tones of his guitars the energy the old school punk throw back of it
great melodies and nice guitar playing in a non wanky kinda way

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Spicin things up a bit

2007-10-21T20:57:00.001Z

I've realised this has been a bit one dimensional as well as low in content

anyway i'm gonna diversify
i'm not that interesting so other than god the only thing i'm any good at talking about is music

so here goes

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Identity and calling part 1

2007-10-21T20:50:00.001Z

Been ages not sure I even remember how to do this
So I’m really just a young gun (23)inexperienced and immature still
I’ve been having one of those [ruff} seasons though it feels like it's been going on since I turned twenty
man that used to be yesterday

anyway been wrestling through some thoughts about identity and calling
triggered by some guy who spoke at the willow creek video conference thingy last year he said something along the lines that there are questions that characterise every decade of living that the 20's questions are about identity who am I and what am I here to do
or something like that
I took notes
and lost them
its what I do
that’s why I usually don't bother

anyway its been bugging me
I think it started whilst watching some shouty screamy penti charis americans with a youth twist I won't post the youtube link that would be rude
so it just reminded me of some things I’ve done at conferences before, screaming, crying, jumping up and down. it reminded me of last nights at the YFC staff conference but it was disturbing to be watch as an outsider rather than being caught up in it all

anyway ended up trawling the related links, ended up watching a video interview done by Kevin Prosch
listened to some of his music was a bit to out there for me

anyway can't remember why but ended up knocking around David Ruis's website I think I remember how much Robby Mac raves about him and some the stuff he's done so figured I’d check it out
anyway pretty much ending up reading everything on his website I think
I just connected with something of what I perceived Mr Ruis to be like

anyway by the time my Emily came in I was ranting

we'd recently popped to York for the day over the weekend and I think it had cleared my head being outside of tees side and I remembered there were different sorts of people out there.

I think something just popped in my ID
either I was realising who I was or who I wanted to be
Not before you get freaked no I don't want to be David Ruis
although LA could be a cool place to live

no it was the mix

of vineyard(charismatic)/Post-modern/artsy creative/Justice&poverty activist/church planter/worship leader/prophetic/musician
and probably a whole host of other things that I love that make me feel alive even just seeing in someone else

particularly for me I think the prophetic/worship leader/artist side of me has been neglected even maybe consciously divorced from and I realised it was making me sad

it made me think about identity
I know the whole thing about my primary identity as a child and creation of God
and that I’m not what I do
but there are things that I do or did or can do that make me feel alive
and I think they are important parts of who I am
I felt like I’d waken up from a slumber of identity

anyway I’m trying to be better at blogging by being worse
hence this is all really a long-winded introduction to some thoughts on calling vs/and/or/with identity

so my goal is to write part two by the end of the week

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I have nothing to say

2007-09-02T15:39:00.000Z

I really don't
but check these out they're awesome

better than steve taylors postcards from the emerging church

Switchfoot a voice of spiritual angst

2007-05-05T00:23:00.000Z

I was beging to reply to post and comment/convo with the other matt wilson over at http://www.faithscape21.blogspot.com/
Anyway i was other switchfoot as alternative example of spiritual angst expressed through music as opposed to Linkin Park

any where hes my thoughts on the matter as it as to bit to post to someone elses comments

although quiet christian (somehow in my musical vocab this usually is a very negative thing)
the american band switchfoot i think are a very interesting case study

they unwittingly starteed out in the ccm market
with a alternative/surf pop/guitar pop sound with quirky cheeky somtimes funny/whimsical sometimes serious lyrics being market as a christian pop punk band
built a very dedicated mostly christian but still (due to a solid diy like ethic) underground following
their music was always more philosophical than most ccm (i think the lead singer was studying when the band started) and more wide eyed spiritually.

many interviews note that the band has always strived not to be a christian band and to have lyrics that mean allot to more than just christians

They hit big time a a couple of years ago when they got signed to major label and hit song "dare you to move" charted high on the back of featuring in Spiderman 2
and released "meant to live" also charted high

many accused them of selling out have less obvious god lyrics and a more straight forward rock sound,
based on the evidence of the hit singles this might be true
both are spiritually vague featuring declarations that there must be more to life and a challenge to keep on striving

"Meant To Live"

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

[Chorus]

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

digging deaper their lyrics often had something more to offer

"Dare You To Move"

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

I love the words to the bridge in that song spot on

the reality is they were just warming up futher highlights of the album see them taking lyrical aim at what we seek from life and bing ok (more than fine) critical looks at the world we've created (ammunition) finding that fame, fortune and making it aren't what their cracked up to be (beautiful letdown)
this from an album that got the band on tv and stages up and down the states

the challending from then on what weather to water down messages for sucsess sake or writed chese cliches that keep the churches happy

what came next was neither "nothing is sound" was a scathing attack on much of modern life its emptyness and futtility, echoing sentiments of ecclesiasties in places. showing that the band had just being warming up their lyrical abilities turning their witty skils from making jokes to launching attacks on the obsertities we see as ok

lyrical highlights
"Happy is a yuppie work"
lyrics say's it all just takes staight up lyrical shots at where modern life is doing
"Politicians" is probaly the best worship song featuring no christian launguge ever, instead it implicates us all in failures of our world to stop tearing it self to pieces and self harm
The chorus to me just sums up so much of Jesus' message in a really simple way

A pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky to get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicians
Watching for our sky to get torn apart
C'mon and break me

Whilst song "the shadow proves the sunshine" flips to other side of the coin pointing to hope and peace beyond ourselves

"The Shadow Proves The Sunshine"

Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast to the break of day light were
The shadow proves the sunshine

Oh Lord, why did you forsake me?
Oh Lord, don't be far away away
Storm clouds gathering beside me
Please Lord, don't look the other way

Latest album continues this highlighting of life shortfulls and a finger pointing to a hope beyond us

Many have built new churches, few have grown them

2007-04-13T18:49:00.000Z

it strikes me theres a difference.
one involves control, the other nuture and prunning.

is there enough persecution to make the emerging church a movement

2007-04-10T16:57:00.000Z

Or does the emerging church have it too easy to be a half decent movement

Just finnished reading hirsh and frosts "the shaping of things to come" which was a fantastic read. Was hit while reading the sections on movements/renewals blah de blah that if you look at the significant movements within christianity especially there has always been a strong backlash to them from Jesus, to luther, to wesley, to MLK.

Maybe in america this simply isn't true because of the fragmented and gang warfare like nature of the evangelical church other there. But here in the UK especailly i wander if the emerging church will ever emerge without a good witch hunt and effort to exterminate it. I'm sure ol sage like grandfather alt worshipers out there will have some old war reminising like stories of the days when it was tough and everybody hated them. But with the CofE's affirming fresh experssions drive and the fact that most everbody else just doesn't give a shiznas i wonder if the EC just isn't getting enough stick to make a real effect in the water.

I'm sure there are lines batted with maclern quotes about middle ground and above the line waiting to be stated but i'm not hooked.

Has the charismatic experiment failed

2007-04-10T16:56:00.000Z

just wondering?

the grea expansed of matt wilsons

2007-03-31T16:08:00.000Z

theres loads of matt wilsons
i am one
theres a whole facebook group of them
heres another http://faithscape21.blogspot.com/index.html
he'll definatly be a better christian than me, i know he's a better blogger than me (cos this is the first post i've written in ages)
hahaha
bye bye

church in the kitchen

2006-04-13T00:32:00.000Z

"The church began with a meal. The Church needs to come back to the kitchen and get itself sorted again. The Church needs to rethink the puny wafer and thimble ritual and get back to the love feast which is a MEAL that takes TIME and happens MORE than once a week and has LEFTOVERS which can given to the POOR (the justice element) and resembles a PARTY that is full of HOPE towards the FEAST that awaits us with our SAVIOR who is not drinking wine until we get there to toast with Him. Jesus said DO THIS in remembrance of me. We would do well to ask "WHAT?" "

the skinny on cooking

love it

is the problem with models the theology or just the plods trying

2006-04-13T00:05:00.000Z

I'm a part of the evangelical and charismatic church. I'm not the same as those that have gone before
I can see some of the problems they have, some of the short falls and hang ups.

I know and see the big back door of the movement and abuse that has happened, hurts that have been dealt.
I've had my fair share and somehow still hang on in there.

i'm just wondering if the often rife sexism and power abuse and politcal wrangling in churchesis really the fault of the teachings, doctrine and theology of the church or just a reflection of us
will emerging churches be free of the same power abuse because of there liberal or liberating theology's and teaching
or will the same fallen broken people be hurting people in the emerging churches and like as have been the tradition churches for years

maybe
1 the church isn't all as s**t as sometimes we put it down as being (remember jesus loves the church)
2 as human being's we really are all s**t as we fail to admit we are (i'm not talking about total depravity more like total incompetance) ie we just can't help but f**k up
no matter how high we are we're really not that great, it's still all just down to the grace of God that we manage any of thea really great stuff we manage to manage

total grace
god is so all powerfull that no matter how baddly we mess things up he still manages to pull great deals of goodness from it.

anyway i'm tired and ramballing will stop now
might make more sense in the morning

the holy spirit in the emerging church

2006-04-13T00:00:00.000Z

african spirit

what ever you think of charismania
you can't read a report like this without either calling it untrue or being challenged
and so what should the responce of the emerging church be to such events

no idea
how should this affect our theology and practice

lets go back to bassics
it all just there in the bible
maybe we post moderns will be able to hold on to it better in the face of doubt (not say we shouldn't doubt saying maybe we need to learn to hold our doubts in one hand some faith in jesus in the other and see what happens) and in the face of failure

that the mystery of God will unlock our ability to believe in his all powerful ness in the face of death and pain

house church movement

2006-04-12T23:44:00.000Z

So am really intriguged by the stuff i'm hearing from simple/organic/house church pioneers thinkers.
I like it
it feels like it address some of the back door, abuse and hurt fears i have about big churches (thought being serious i'm not gonna be naive enough about this to say just cos it's a house or a small group it's not gonna happen there i think i'm gonna have to look into this stuff more in another post) i think in a smaller group it maybe easyer to not ignore that it's going on like in big church and there should be less excuse as a planter/leader/pastor to not address issuse as they come up to not repremant abuser and not try reconcilliation and healing 9maybe these are some of my own angst about church comming out here)
I like the idea that in a smaller organic group when some one leaves we all care and check up on why (in my church of only maybe 50-70 people were dropping off and it sometimes seemed like no-one cared, more scarey i think i neaarly dropped off and it seemed like no-one would care,:aside how emerging church is this that muy thoughts at the mo are being directed by my current hang ups about church)

I like that in these smaller groups room is often being given for growth in the use of holy spirit. it seems this is the corner of the emerging church most conected to the practice and theology of the charismatic movement and the evangelical movement. and that it is seeing the failings of it's former expressions without always casting out the theological baby with the bath water.

i like that its cheap
and reproduceable although i'd love to know how often it reproduces

i love that it's redressing leadership models and authority ideas.

i'm getting tired now
i really wanna find out more about this movement and it's practice
but i'm getting tired
gonna hit sack now.

House2House

the best worship song i've ever written

2006-04-11T17:53:00.000Z

1.
Ancient One, so unchanging
See this young and restless soul
Ageless One, never ending
Will you step into my world?

(Chorus)
Let us see the light You placed deep down
Within our hearts to glow and lead to You,
Like neon signs that point to heaven,
Lit up by the Truth

2.
Imagination, so breath taking
You take the old and see as new
Your burning passion, invigorating
Restore my soul with fire from You

(Bridge)
Following mysteries like blind fools
Chasing shadows in unanswered clues
Seeing messages in cloudy night skies,
New born’s bright eyes,
Hearing Your call in the wind
Hearing Your call in the wind

I wonder if I'll ever sing it again

NO SURVIVORS

2006-04-09T03:30:00.000Z

I've just read a chapter or Erwin Mcmanus's book "An Unstoppable force" unfortunatly I tend not to buy many books cos of money and wanting to spend that money on music (oo the evils of entertainment and feed me GEN) and on guitar stuff (to create music) but do enjoy reading excerpts on the tinternetbut i did really enjoy that chapter

Have been picking up lots of wiff's about Mcmanus wiuth my net nose recently. I like what i smell so far. I have to say there are some pretty cool peopl to come out of the SBC. Plus i loved reading some thoughts of his a few months ago about transformation http://erwinmcmanus.com/broken-pieces

Anyway was totally struck by this quote "I'll never forget the look on their faces when i promised that I would either lead us to impact the city or -in the effort- close our doors" he basically insistes that we should be dying trying to change the world. I like it. I loved what he said about the bible not promising survival.
radical
not sure if i totally agree with it
but i like it

it's challenging
and freeing

I mean
i can try and plant a church and if I fail trying that's okay
At least i'm trying
and trying to change the world

Worship the holy spirit and worshiping

2006-04-01T23:56:00.000Z

me and my mate Dave who's a curate at a church near my home have been chatting about the whole emerging church/alt worship thing for a while
I'll use creative worship as opposed to alt cos alt worship has a tendencies to piss me off

not as much as if someone tried to start calling what they did post worship but that goes into age old problems I have with the post rock/punk/hardcore scenes

anyway we are part of and love the charismatic church but are defiantly not the same as it or those who it contains. We defiantly feel emerging, we find release/hope in fresh expressions.

one of the idea's we are wrestling with at the mo is can
you get the same dynamic/manifested experience of the holy spirit that is a common hallmark of charismatic/Pentecostal worship through creative/alt/non-music based worship
all I can think of is the quakers

in our discussions the idea that stripping away music can remove confussion about hyping up and manipulation being the cause of manifestations as appealing

but also as a musician i often want to respond to the HS with dynamic music

it's way complicated
many thoughts appreciated

I really really suck at blogging

2006-03-06T17:57:00.000Z

Anyway
Matrix or network Church planting
THis is an idea that we're growing in our ministry til it's robust enough to take out there and actually give a go of
basically instead of one church denomination or organisation sening a plod sod or core team to plant a church
a group of churches around a needy area (could be geographical or other) release members of their church that have a passion for that particular area to be missioners and plant a church there with the understanding that they can maintain there grounding in each of there own sending churches for 18 months to two years and then should either stay or come back hopefully leaving a more steady and settled home church.
will clear it all up later
i just like the sound of it
you never know might end up doing it

Got back from Resource today

2006-01-23T01:40:00.000Z

Got back from resource today
The weekend was on Mission
We looked at three main area’s of

Missio Dei
Incarnation and mission
The kingdom of God

As well as lots of discussion
Some worship
And a great talk on spirituality for the road (developing your spiritual life as you engage in mission)
Which kind of linked in with a great bible study I heard two week’s ago at the British YFC conference by a cool American guy called Lon Allinson

was an exciting time
could say fulfillment of four years heart yearning
but that's a long story.

Was really cool though,
learnt allot
got confused a bit
challenged allot
have a lot of notes to re-read and reflect on

Meet some great people and really exited about the year ahead

Plus it was good to meet the TallSkinnnyKiwi in person and hear him speak in the flesh after being a bit of a lurking addict on his blog for about a year now.

Was really encouraged by the idea of the going/sending and finding of God in mission
Re-invigorated in a passion for the poor and marginalized

Good few days I’ll say

Thoughts and ponderings from Christianity Rediscovered - 1

2006-01-18T21:07:00.000Z

So I'm just about to start chapter four and thought that blogging through this book would be a good way of helping me reflect on the book in greater depth.

While the preface (to the second edition) and the introduction seems a little catholic specific in places. Points about the modern youth culture being as foreign to him as the Masai are both valid and important as I'm sure someone like Jonny Baker would agree. I think also it is as important a belief on this journey that Christianity is at the least something of worth and has something positive to bring to other peoples.

I think the biggest point to have resonated with me so far has been from the third chapter where Donovan begins to talk about culture. I love how he talks about a culture/tribe or 'ethne' having the means of salvation within them, that a people’s customs, language and rituals are their way to God. I think that it has implications not only for evangelism but also discipleship, churches, fellowship, worship and teaching. Its neglect can be seen in the mass exportation of church culture being seen as evangelism.

One story I heard the director on New Zealand YFC tell at a recent BYFC conference illustrates this and highlights its dangers perfectly. He was talking about his days of working with Maori boys in boys’ homes. He recalled on of the boy's drawing a picture explaining what it was like for a Maori becoming a Christian. The boy had drawn three stick men, the first stick man had a face coloured in brown, the second a face coloured in half brown, half white and the last one had a fully white face. The boy explained that for a Maori to become a Christian it was like losing his colour, like losing that which made Maori different to Europeans (white men). That as he became a Christian he was becoming white and not Maori. It made me want to cry, yet how often in this country does becoming a Christian mean, becoming middle class, having to like Matt Redman or acoustic folk Rock driven song’s, or even becoming someone who learns through reading and listening to someone talk.

Donovan’s approach is that missionaries must become respecters of culture and love it not destroy it. That missionary’s take the Gospel a central unchanging story and leave/entrust it to community’s who must flesh it out in they’re own cultural response to it. The missionary’s job is to try and connect the Gospel with the culture.

The question’s that posses for me are going to take a fair while of reflection and discussion to come through
The questions that my team and I are currently looking at are

What it the Gospel?
What is the difference between salvation and the Gospel?
What are the cultural blocks we may bring or meet in trying to communicate the Gospel?

Christianity Rediscovered and my re-entry to blogdom

2006-01-18T13:56:00.000Z

It’s been ages since I last blogged but I suddenly feel inspired to restart, maybe it’s a bit of a late new year’s resolution’s push but hey. Two motivations for the re-inspiration are the Resource church planting course that I am starting this weekend and are totally pumped about. As part of that I got a recommended reading list from them about a month ago but due to being on away and then on another conference didn’t get round to sniffing out some free copy’s of some of the books for a while. Any way the only book of the list that I could lay my hands on was Vince Donovan’s – Rediscovering Christianity that my local vicar had a copy of and has loaned me it. I was excited to discover it was a book that I had been meaning to get hold of for about 2 months now anyway after I had been recommended it as missionary classic.

Anyway I started last night after attending a not very inspiring confirmation service in the church next door. I had to go to brown nose with the bishop, not that I had anything really to say to him I’m not really a small talk person and I’m also naturally an introvert. I read the foreword whilst falling asleep waiting for my fiancé to pop round after her band practice (she used to play drums in this kick ass, disco/glam rock influenced indie band, I totally think she should start playing with them again but hey). I was really tired so got through the foreword interested, but not caught yet, and then fell asleep. Fiancé arrives with a guitar that she was thinking about buying for me, we decided not too but it was very pretty. Anyway two hours later I’m stuck in the first four chapters of the book riveted. Neway I probably blog through the book a bit as it seems to be the cool thing to do these days and I wouldn’t want to not be part of the in-crowd.

Long time no post

2005-07-06T13:53:00.000Z

I't s been a while since I last posted
well 4-5 day's depending on how u count
well since my last post I've been spending a fair amount of time making someone happy
It was my girlfreind's birthday on sunday, and we had a party for her on saturday.

We had a great party on saturday with lot's of freind's, (IT was also my freinds matt birthday on sunday so em's shared the party with him which was cool) It was great to hang out with people and celbrate fun things and the wonderful day of birth of my lady. I never knew how much work it takes to make brithday's happen but hopefully my effort paid off in making it a good brithday for emily.

Sunday was great too as we had food at her parent's house, and then in the evening went out for a vegitarian meal (I'm not but her freind is) which was actually wonderfull and so much better than I excpected and ate as we we're entertained by a sing's rapping, beatboxing funk beat poetry troupe from vancover called the fugitives. They we're brilliant the singer had anamazing voice, It was a trully beautifull time sharing great freind's great food and great music.

Unfortunatly my house is still a mess from the party

and this is something I don't get
but Have done every time I have a party
in that we spend ohours before a party making the house look nice
for only withing a few housrs to have it trashed again.
and if your me be too lazy to do that much tidding that soon to having tiddied

Honesty

2005-06-30T10:25:00.000Z

man I love good rock music
I love american rock for some reason
maybe I should have been bron in south california
I dunno
but this band are cool
a bit jimmy eat world
but thats nothing wrong
good pop sensibilities but not affraid to heavey and disscord it up a bit
I love music
need to rock out soon Or i will loose it

how cool are the foo fighters
"I've got another confession to make"

How good are incubus

2005-06-30T01:12:00.000Z

I love incubus they are soo coool
New video on the website
click the link above
man I love them
I wish I was in incubus
never mind
funk rock never dies

Had a chat today about how church is God one and only plan for redemption of the earth
how love is his only strategy
that we are God agents of change and the best way that god has to get the lost saved
scarry thing is how many of us are willing to pay the cost
kinda scarry
reminded me of this killer post about post soul in the city http://www.blahonline.net/features.php
it's seems pertinent as planing is going on for a similar stylen event up here called NE1
loved the idea of moving the whole church to the lost people and building (goes a step futher than simple church planting)
dunno how many nice white middle class church's love the lost enough to sell there homes and move they're church into the middle of the red light district

The problem of getting out there

2005-06-27T20:48:00.000Z

I have no non-Christian friends

this is shit
because after doing three Gap years learning how to share my faith I realize out side of my work (youth worker) I don't have strong relationships with non-Christians and that is crap.

Plus every one knows non-Christians are cool

I miss being at school and having life's filled with normal people.

So how do you get non-Christian friend now being in my situation

In that I have moved into a new area
I work for a Christian youth work organization
I go to church
and spend most of spare time with my girlfriend
or other Christians friends
or playing in Christian band doing Christian projects.

Being 20
and not at uni
I've realized that I've never worked out how to make friend
at school you just hung out all the time with people who liked you and that you liked you.

Now this wouldn't all be a real problem if it wasn't for Vini's.

Vini's is the once a month evening service that my church does for young adult's, It is if I'm honest pretty damn good. If for no other reason than it's in a very nice bar with nice beer. And we try not to overstate that it is a bar night. With a bit of yarm vineyard church in it. Me a good friend who is a wiz guitarist and my wonderful girlfriend provide some pretty cool live music think john Mayer and damien rice meets massive attack and house music trip hop , David Crowder and other dance music. I enjoy it, other people enjoy it. The place has a real atmosphere of God in it. The DJ spins brill chill out Ibiza tunes all night long and there is a 5-10 min chat on God life and other stuff. It works it's fun, cool, community and nice.

The problem is that we're full of Christian's. Not just from our church but other local church's. Now I'm nobody being elitist because to behonest they are all welcome. It's just we didn't put all this hard work in to create a play ground for bored Christians in they're 20's but to create a place where heaven and earth meet and Non-Christians come and find out about it.

And hence where my problem come's from. Having aimed to reach out with this service the main thing we've realized it's missing is mission and outreachingness. And if everyone who came invited their non-Christian friends it would be great.

But how can I say this and encourage this when I know I can't do it myself
because as I've stated above before I don't have any.

Even more annoying is all the people who I live around wouldn't ever come to what I do at Vini's anyway.

and so I am lost
and annoyed
desperately trying not be a hypocrite.

Nnooooooooo my guitarist freind is leaveing possibly

2005-06-27T20:33:00.000Z

A very great freind of mine Matt lewis has started a blog
He's good at being intressting and funny and so I read his blog more than I read mine i would recomend anyone reading mine to do the same
maybe that makes him a better person than me

Any way he may be leaving our town, band and life in a few months which is very sad
I will miss you much dooooood your awesome
Take care and God bless

matt

The seeker sensitive vs holy spirit renewal tension and why My girlfriend hates church for dummies

2005-06-15T00:02:00.000Z

Or visitor services as many churches call them.

Before properly writing I must admit one of the main reasons for me writing this is that she (my girlfriend) told me off for not writing anything about her on my blog. Because surely if I love her( which I do with all my heart head over heels and all that other mushy stuff) I would include her on my blog. To which I replied sorry, I just don't blog regularly enough to put all the bit's of my life in but here you god hunny I love you and hope God has a long and beautiful future planned out for us.

Anyway over the last few years of stalking/hanging on the coat tails of a UK vineyard church leader you pick up on a few thing. One of the such that has become apparent from what I can tell in the vineyard church movement is this tension between a seeker sensitive/evangelistic focus within the movement and a holy spirit renewal/spiritual gifts charismatic focus. From what you see most church's and leaders seem to major on one or the other. Particularly for my leader his focus in is evangelism and holy spirit stuff coming next. Knowing the little I do about the movement this tension seems to make sense as the dual focus of it's founder/leader John Wimber was of both reaching the Lost (power evangelism) and the renewal of the church (for instance is influence in the Anglican church in Great Britain) it seems that almost the DNA of this man has passed down through the movement and in some leaders there are stronger strands of one than the other.

My simple thought having just started planting a new congregation for the vineyard church I attend aimed at young adults (ie emerging generations) is that in this new post modern , emerging culture is it possible to hold the two not a odds but in conjunction in building church for this generation. It's my observation that people bellow the age of 35 are starting to find the seeker sensitive model somewhat Jaded and past it. They see through the savvy attempts to market the Christian club/religion/product/business to them. They aren't looking to be presented with a God that makes sense, with a god that fits into simple song/preach sandwich worship formats and they want more than motivational lifestyle tip's with faith interjected. Over the last decade we seen people flocking out of the modernistic thearte presentation of church and Christian spirituality where it's all joined up and nicely presented with a good new hair cut and make up job for the front page of the handout. Equally we've seen more books on angels, crystal's, and heaven than ever. Spirituality is on sale and selling out but the church is now where to be seen in the market place.

And so as people are looking for spirituality and spiritual experience in a abundance. It presents the church with a fantastic opportunity to show the world a vibrant and exciting and normal supernatural world. Where worship services and church meetings become an opportunity to be in a room that god walks through (as Bono may say). Where we no longer have to attempt to do church for dummies (as my girlfriend likes to call visitor services at her old church) and explain everything where we almost afraid that people might work out that God is there cos it might freak them out and we wouldn't want them to think we're weird or doing anything different. But can be proud that we have a relationship with a living God and simply can invite people to observe us worshiping him or even more join in and experience this living God, because we find that our church is not a million miles away from the rest of the world and non-Christians can understand us in church without the need of an interpreter. If what happens in church and in worship connects with the rest of the world then maybe worship leading could become just providing hooks for people to be caught up in the presence of God and then leaving them to express themselves.

I guess I see an opportunity for the church to unashamedly embrace the holy presence and power of God in it's services and gatherings as much if not more than it can that of non-Christian Mary and Joe. I wonder why worship can't be cool. Why the holy spirit we should keep the holy spirit under wraps when it's work is so exciting and inviting to someone who is spiritually searching. And I continue to dream that a non-Christian who is a part of the worship of God in the presence of the Holy spirit can pick up on the spiritual atmosphere around them and that if for one moment they can connect with that power then maybe their life could be changed more than if they had just prayed a five step plan of salvation.

Thoughts after the monastery

2005-05-27T13:30:00.000Z

I've just finished watching the monastery from BBC 2. I loved it I thought it was absolutely thought provoking and challenging especially to those of us from new church/charismatic/evangelical church backgrounds. In the spiritual life of the monks I saw something that for a while I had been sensing was missing from my own spiritual life and also those of my friends but that I cannot put my finger on completely.

After chatting over with my girlfreind about a conversation she had with a younger girl just coming to age where she is no longer part of they're church's youth work and who is undergoing massive struggle in spiritual and growing terms and really struggling with church life and teaching. I was challenged by the question of what sort of model of spiritual life works for this girl only about 2 or 3 years younger than me. In asking the question I realize that If I honestly evaluate my own spiritual life I find massive wholes. I struggle to implement any sort of daily bible reading and prayer structure to my life and my spiritual well being easily gravitates to focus around whatever I am working on be it church, youth work, events or such or that my intimacy with God become dependent on attending a service.

In alternative worship/emerging/postmodern church and worship I see a growth of church, worship and theology that resonate with myself and people of my generation. In fact we've just started last week a evening congregation for out church that is aimed at young adult's we're incorporating lesson's learned from the altworship movement and emerging church and basically church is just a cool bar (awesome really it's got bit's of old churches built into it) people can come and just hang out with friends and have a good drink, but also we using images and live music to provide stimuli to focus people on God if they wish without being too in they're face but giving hooks that allow people to plug into hopefully what God is doing and such. There was a short 5 min talk about breathe (where do we go to breathe) and a prayer room titled breathe just that was on the side of the bar. It was good fun and we saw people really connect with the vision of it and such. Especially people in similar positions to that of the girl mentioned above who we're given an opportunity to meet with God on their own terms and not preached at but asked to join in a search for God.

But it leaves me wondering what then works for us in terms or our personal spiritual walk and understanding. What can I learn from monastic orders like that shown in the monastery about rhythms of prayer, reflection and personal inspection. And how can we encourage a fellowship with people who have personal faith and relationship with God that leads them to a place of personal devotion discipline with God without scaring off those we most want to connect with.
As an ender I'm really interested in this whole rule of life idea have a copy of the vision and the vow that I've left at my girlfriends house think I'm scared of reading it because of the possibility of it raising the bar and once again leaving me feeling like I've failed at another spiritual Boost me up agenda.

must read it though

Does anyone else so often feel that the easiest summation of they're Christian walk is that they are failing

it's been a while

2005-05-27T03:01:00.000Z

I havent blogged in ages I'm almost forgeting what to do.

anyway a while ago I was asleep onthe sofa cos I was too lazy to go to bed and woke up in the middle of a film all about the origin's of the Black panther movenment and Black power called panther

I'm not sure if it was biographical or fictionall the film focus more on characters and story's than on particular althougth it ended with a breaif round up of the histories of the main characters and what happened to them. Althought the story is mainly about how the system cracked down on the panthers from the moment they set up and in the end how the FBi introduced hard drugs into the ghetto to kill the community movement (of which I have no idea if it is true) I was struck by the model the Story gave for deprived area regeneration that had nothing to with injections of cash from outside and everything to do with personal education and awareness and a desire to better themselves and protect themselves.

In an effort to win the heart of the community and to make a stand againt a dominiering white system the panthers began to police they're own area's. To clean up their own area's to educate they're own childern . The effect on the community was amazing as they're neighbourhood became a safer place and happier area. The panthers help instal pride in the community first in themselves as individuals after generations of being put down as second grade citzens and from this flowed a pride in their community both as a group fo people and a area. The sort of urban regeneration that flowed from this was so refreshing because it came from within rather than being a hummilliating hand me out fromthe outside.
I was so provaked by the breathe of fresh air that this gave me in seeing possibly what God want's to do in degenerated are's (ie restore people's preide nd love of themselves and each other) That I keep meaning to do greater reaserch on the panther movenment.

Matt

Long and late

2005-05-10T02:01:00.000Z

It's really late and I can't sleep
Just read my last few post and they're all really long
sorry

"Faithful Improvisation" and lesson's in parables

2005-04-15T14:13:00.000Z

So I got back from "Imagine" the diocese of Durham's conference oohh Man I felt out of place not being Anglican, middle aged, Middle class or white it's an understatement to say I stood out scary that that is pretty much the complete diversity of leadership within the Anglican church in this area of the north east. I mean the group gathered made my local vicar Norman look young! Cool and funky aRGHHhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! However lets leave the CofE bashing behind I love them really, I could jest never fully consider myself oneHave to say that I've come back from the conference with two very striking challenge's points One came from Jonny Baker's mission shaped youth ministry workshop In which he quote a phrase/idea of Bishop Tom Wright in which he talk about the churches need for faithful improvisation In much the same way as a theater company may if missing a act of a play while knowing well what has gone before the context and the character of the writer may improvise the missing act knowing where they are starting and where they have to go. In the same way the idea say's the church as a wealth of information about where it has come from in the bible and Jesus, but we have no official road map for our current times the bible does not have exact instruction in how to deal with sky television or the internet or a whole host of issues and mind set's that we encounter in this modern (or post/if your that way inclined) World. And so say's "Wright" the call on the modern church is to faithfully improvise or as the unspoken YFC motto goes make it up as you go along. As a community of faith we walk in unmapped times, you could say postmodernism (if you use the phrase) is an uncharted Wilderness in which the church is beginning to wander or wonder if you like. The idea just oozes freedom to walk in some sense where ever and how ever we like while maintaining in one hand a understanding of our story, from where we come from stemming all the way back to Adam and eve through the bible and church history both early and late, and in the other hand our Guide, comforter, friend and God, the Holy Spirit, the Son and the Father. It gives us all the opportunity to dream and imagine what where and how church can be.

One of the other awesome challenge’s that I have come back from the conference with and that will continue to rattle about in my head for many decades to come I’m sure was a point that Bishop Tom made whilst teaching from the Parable of the sower. In which he summarized that the lesson that we should learn from parable is not merely about understanding what Jesus was teaching and saying and explaining with the parable and how to re-teach/say/explain the same things in the modern age using modern parables and tools as such. But that the larger lesson to learn from the parables and the larger challenge comes from understanding that Jesus told parables in answer to questions that the people asked, and that these questions were provoked by the weirdness of Jesus and what he did. And so therefore the challenge to us is what can we do that cause’s people to ask us the question’s that need parables to answer them.

Stevie Wonder and great conversations

2005-03-22T15:43:00.002Z

Man I love stevie wonder
his farting synth funk sounds smoth vocals but anyway
Just again blessed by having a cool conversation with a good freind that has been blessing me loads by carting me and some band mates around town to a school every lunch time this week so we can play in their school assemblies
Man how great is it when people are generous with their time and resources
like she doesn't have to give me lifts everywhere I'm sure she's bussy enough as the youth worker for her church, and today was even her day off.

Anyway as she dropped me off we started talking about revival
are we still waiting it or do we just need notice that we're in the middle of it anyway
Things like alpha have swept the country and resulted in many people being saved.
In the last few years we have seen massive evangelist and social action missions in two of the major city's in the country one of them being our capital, and also many more are in the pipe lines.
I remeber being part of the massive out reach venue at the manchester appolo thearte and for festival Manchester in 2003 and seeing more than a hundred young people becoming christians pretty much every night in a roow for 4-5 day's over the course of the mission.

As we continued talking we said how in the last few years there have been a steady trickle of people we know and people we work with becomeing christians.
And then what is revival anyway
Sureley every time the holy spirit touches out heart and cause us to rejoice and be alive that is revival.
And if we are living in a place where the holy spirit is constantly doing that to us, the fire that burns in us cannot resist but to leap into the hearts of otheres.

In the great revivals of Old did people Know at first that God was doing something
At the start was it sign posted with flashing neon lights letting people know this was revival, was it blariingly obvious
Or as revival started was it a steady trickle
A building of rumour's and wisper
that God was on the move
that he was doing someing
that change was coming
that change was happening.
Was only when people looked back over there shoulder that they noticed the hugeness and extent of what God was doing.

To be honest I have no idea
all I know is that I have to keep pinching myself becuase everywhere I go it feel#s like God is on the move
there is a continual sense of the spirit of God bubbling under the surface of where we are
and that it's just waiting to busrt forth and like a fountain spray and wash over us all.

Is right to want more than what we have
or does it stop us seeing the amazing things that are going one today
My freind had 15 non-church young people turn up at her church last sunday
She was gutted she had no idea they we're gonna be there and so wasn't there and didn't see it, She was shocked that they turned up when no one had invited then and they had never been before.
and there they we're and with out they're freindly youth worker there the church had to actually welcome them and cope with them themselves
bless
I mean who would have thought
not being harsh but her church is afairly tradtition large but fairley slow paved service that they have in there church
I wouldn't go If I wasn't a christian and so how amazing is that.

Yesterday I stood infront of a load of old methodist and told them I was gonna start a new church down the road from them for all the checkey chav's in there area that I love
and they loved it
you saw Joy and excitement in their eye's and I shared the heart God had given me for the area

and yes I Still want more
I'm sure God does too
I mean
there are still thousands of young people who don't know jesus
and hundred's who are still leaving the church

I'm sure god is gearing up for bigger things
more soulds
larger salvations
but not for the sake of number
But for the sake of individuals
I don't thing God party's more for a hundred new christians that get save at one time
than he does for when one new christian get's saved

And so in wanting to stay with God in wanting to see more I guess I musant forget that it's not about numbers but souls
and one soul is amazing and should be celbrate
revial surely is going on slowly all around us
we want more cos we see so many souls and story's that need healing peace
but lets not forget to celebrate the glory of God that is leaking through today
for surely one souls worth partying for too

dreams, fears, realitys and the wonders of macdonalds blessings

2005-03-22T02:05:00.000Z

I Have to say I love itI love reading the story's from the front lines of youth cultureThe nightclubs in Ibiza, the surf of nequay, the beaches of Ayinapa.I love the story's of 24-7 prayer rooms around the GlobeOf churches in nightclubs and God on the streeetsIt put's fire in my bellyand convinces me that a red moon is risingand God is stomping, on the move all across our land.
And then I turn the PC off step out of the nice YFC office that I sleep above, put on a coat and walk out into roseworth. A beautifully dreary northan run down estate (aparantly the home of the cheapest heroin in england according to the vicar), some how me a stuck up at times, cultural mix bag, afro-ed almost crazey and definatly weird southerner has fallen head over heal's for the place and as boring as it seem's compared to the colourful picture of the frontlines that excist in my head Something of that fire hangs one, The painful gut aching prayer for God to step out of heaven and in one earth shaking foot stomp on the ground turn this estate on it's head and have all flooding to know God. To see young people discorvering God and expressing themselves to Him. I cry to see the world change and brought back into line with his Justice and rightness.
Yet it feel's so far away at times and a distant reality to the challenge of loving chav's and telling them about God in the midst of "eerrr get away ya freak" and "check out this tuune it's bangin" and the desire to see church grow in the midle of this somewhat barren estate from nowhere and having absolutle no Idea how to do itand feeling pretty crap and unable to achieve anything.
and yet underneath it all bubbling away is an unavoidable sense that God really is doing something here
Earlier this week I was sat in a room with a catholic priest, two anglican vicars, a methodist minister and my Boss who runs's a vineyard church in his spare time. Sat down with these people all comiting they're support prayer and guidance to seeing this work. To seeing young people in this area's becomeing christians and new expressioins of church emerge, to seeing it as Gods church in this area not they're and to overcomeing their diffrences to see other peoples live impacted. And they we're putting together these plans assuming this was gonna happen
I sat there somewhat dumbfounded still really struggling to see how I was gonna see any young people become christians let alone helpf for a church with them.
but heyWhat do I knowand God is deffinatly bigger than my doubtsand prayers are on their way to being too
Then tonightI go and talk to a buch of oldies from a local methodist church about what we're planning.
I walk in the hall feeling a bit afraid wondering what they're gonna think of this weirdo with a fro who want to start a new church near them for the local young people.
As I sit in my designated free chair at the front of the room the church council meeting seems to be in full flow but no-one seem's bothered that I'm late. THe reverned wispers to me that this section should be over soon and then it's my turn, it seem's arive just in time then.As I try to sort out in my head I pick up the straggley end of the preivious discussion that was something to do with dissabled toilets and the men's toilets being disgusting and man they seem to be making some heat on that topic.I think to myself if they get this steamed up about toilets what are they gonna say about meand I begin to feel 2 feet tall.

The Reverand is freindly as she introduces me and starts to intreview me for the council.
There are a few laughs as I give a brief discriotion and biography of my self and YFC's work in the area's and some intressted faces as beging to explain our plan's for this area's. I loose my self in excitement to all I feel God is doing and calling us to do and showing us to do that I speed up and yabber on forgeting myself. When I finnish they're are many smiles and a few bemused, confused or amused faces. then question time comes I feel my stomach turn a few hand's go up. Nothing to bad to start off with then the guy who seemed the most agitated in the preivious disscustion begins and I gulp. But man his question was great and just opened up the floor for me to fully discus why I think chuch planting in youth communities is important and why and how we intend to give it ago, his next question allows' me to share all my hopes and dreams for the future possiblity's for our project and where it could ago, again I loose myself in excite ment as remember all things' I've told God I reckon would be pretty cool for him to do in the last 6 months. To finnish off I have to appolgise for being so vague and that the truth is I am somewhat making it up as I go along and that there is no way I can succed, but and with all my heart I belive it as I tell them, God is doing something I feel that God is able to use me
And I am deffinatly willing for him to use me and so It's down to him.

I leave them with the challenge that for me the most important thing they can do is pray for us because with out God our project is nothing and will make no diffrence.

As I leave I'm utterly elate and buzzing remembering all the dreams' I feel God has given me
as I walk down the road back toward the vicarage I call home I can't help pray for God to pour out his spirit on this broken and weary land. As I take a detour to get some nosh from Maccy D's I see some older Lad's that I've not seen before excited as I've not found where this age group seems to hang on the estate.

On the way back from Maccy D's I'm praising God, the Girl that served me at teh counter was an angel I'm sure. Having worked in fast food I totattly understand teh normal attitiude or either anger or apathy that the server's usualy have there. Today however I meet the nicest employ ever. She spoke with sincer happyness and had a trully joyful smile as she served me my roast beef sandwich and for one when I said thankyou and God bless for the food I trully ment it as her smile had made my day, Man it's amazing how one nice person can make you feel.

Just before reaching home I walk past another large group of teens, this time they hollar at me, something about can they have a chip. before I can think about it I stop upen up my bag and hand over my french fries to one of the girls, she's gob-smacked. Man my hot chocolate must have been good, that or somein to do with God.
As one of other girls recognise me and asks' if I'm that christian dude that comes into her school for assemblies the last few montsh of monotonous work seem's to makes. I have to remind the girl I gave to fries to that they are not her fries and so share and the rest of the group suddenly realise that I've given them all my fries. As I turn to leave cos it's all a bit too cold for my soft southern ass they cry out something along the lines of thanks dude you sooo nice.

I can't help but feel that act of genoristy was important. maybe I'm over excited but I'm not usually good at sharing food, escpecally with checky chav's. but tonights act seemed significant, As I get in the front door a shoot up a quick pray to God putting in an order for a few more round's of salvation.
As I say the word's "Lord I want' them kids, I want they're soul's to be yours" actually belive that it can happen. Tomorrow's gonna be another hard normal sloggin day.

But tonight just maybe angels won a few more battle's over Roseworth.
And if not
I had a good time anyway